Bring On 2007.

No long soliloquies today,
just one simple wish,
a better
New Year
than last.

Happy New Years!

Our Anniversary.

Christa and I were married sixteen years ago today at St. Micheal's Lutheran Church in Reno. The Church was beautifully decorated with poinsettias and evergreens for the Christmas season. Our favorite time of the year was from Halloween through New Years with its deep reds, golds, and greens.

I still remember seeing her for the first time in her wedding dress. She was stunning. I had such a feeling of pride that a women this lovely had chosen me. We had found each other and were stronger together than we could ever be apart.

It was a simple service, attended by those people most important in our lives. To top it all off, when the service was over we walked out of the church and there was a light dusting of snow on the ground. Perfect.

Christa, I love you and miss you.
Happy Anniversary.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Happy Birthday Christa.

For those who don't know, today is Christa's Birthday. Today wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. This does not mean in any way that it was easy. We, as a family, talked about Christa more today than we have in a while. Difficult, but good.

Rowen decided we needed to get Christa a birthday cake. I reminded him that if we did it did not mean that Christa would be joining us. He asked if she would have cake in Heaven and I assured him that she would have a wonderful cake with ice cream on top.

I spoke with the children about lighting a candle for Christa on her Birthday. How this act says that we remember her and miss her greatly. I think they understand and overtime will find this act comforting.









Happy Birthday my love.

Peace and Long Memories,
Marty

Merry Christmas and Thank You.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmas season. I want to thank everyone who has helped my family and me through what has been the most difficult year of our lives. Each of you should be so proud of the way that you of have gone above and beyond for us. I am humbled. You each have shown that you understand what Christmas is truly about,
"It is better to give than to receive".
You have given us the best gift of all, a gift of the heart.

So to all of you I say thank you and my the peace that is Christmas come to you and be with you for the rest of your lives.

Peace and Christmas Cheers,
Marty

And More Funny Stuff.

Picture Time Again.

These are photos that my Mom took when she and my Dad were here for Eilish's 10th birthday.
Part of the fun in posting these is that I then get to comment on them.
I hope you enjoy.

So these are my three little "angels".

Starting at the right, could someone tell me what that look on Rowen's face means.
I have my thoughts.

Doesn't Eilish look nice in the dress she picked out for her Birthday outfit?

Yes, that is a hole in Elora's jeans. No, that is not her best pair of jeans. Yes, they may be her favorite pair of jeans. No, I didn't know she blew the knee out until I saw the picture.

Please Papa Robert please. We promise to blah blah blah blah blah.
Or
Help me! I'm being mugged by three of Santa's elves who have entered the country illegally.

And last but not least, this handsome, young man is sporting his new "Warriors in Pink" t-shirt and looking rather dapper.

I'll try to post again later.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Need I Say More?

A Series Of Unfortunate Events Or Someone "Upstairs" Is Having A Good Laugh.

Today was the perfect cure for writers block. I consider myself lucky to have made it through in one piece. Let's start at the beginning.

Rowen was the first up this morning. He came into my room around 8 am which is late for him. He crawled into my bed and was still for about ten minutes. Then Eilish came in and he decided it was time to play. This is how are Sunday mornings usually are. We woke up Elora and decided to go get breakfast. After eating, we went over to Kohl's to get a small gift for Amber because the kids were going to spend the afternoon over there while I went to work.

On the way home I clipped the curb at an intersection and blew out my tire. I was able to pull into a parking lot and the give the kids their first lesson for changing a flat tire. I was still in a good mood and able to keep the really "colorful" language to a minimum.

We got home and I made the kids some lunch which two out of three ate. Anymore, if I can get two out of three to eat, I'm doing pretty good. Everyone finished and it was time to get ready to take them to "Saint Shelly's" and then head into work.

I went into my room to change my pants because the pair I had on were a little grungy after having changed the tire. I grabbed my favorite pair of cargo pants, pulled them on, zipped them up, and the zipper gave out on them. I know there are plenty of jokes to be made a this point, I even thought about them myself. Then I thought, "I hope this isn't one of those bouts of bad luck that comes in threes".

As we are headed out the door, I remembered that I didn't have my cell phone. I looked in all the usual spots and didn't find it. "Where did I leave the stupid thing." This is where the little light bulb turns on in my head, because I knew exactly where it was. I went down to laundry room, opened the washer, grabbed the pants I thrown in the wash because they were covered with tire dirt, and pulled my phone out of the pocket. I killed another one.

Now your thinking, well at least that is three, at least the "curse" is broken. HaHa. I had been at work for about fifteen minutes when, as if the bad mojo had to get one more little jab in, I picked up a pen to write some notes and it bleed ink all over my hand.

I really feel lucky to have mad it through the day without seriously hurting myself. Not to say that I won't feel some aches and pains from changing the tire this morning.

So how was your day?

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Snow Funny.

Blogger Having Issues

I have had a couple people email me that they were not able to post comments. I checked the homepage for blogger and they say they have fixed the problem.

I will try to post tomorrow. I'm suffering from a bout of writers block or at least I can't think of anything interesting. Blog you soon.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Holiday Fun

Dinner with Dr Mehr.

We had and interesting evening. I went to pick up the girls at school and ran into Dr. Mehr, the art teacher at Lee. She invited us over to her house for dinner. So after we picked up Rowen and ran a couple errands, we went over and broke bread with her and Eilish's second grade teacher, whom I won't even try to spell her name as I know I will mangle it. She is living the military wife life now. Dinner was really nice and the company was great. We finally got home around 9 pm.

I was able to show Dr. Mehr three of Christa's pictures that I just got framed. She, along with the guys who framed them, seemed to be pretty impressed. Once I get them hung I'll take some pictures and post them for all to see. They turned out really nice.

I got nothing done at home that needed to. So I guess I will spend part of my day off tomorrow doing housework. O joy O joy. Gotta go.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Winter Humor.

Considering 2007.

I was looking for something in the computer and came across my "Goals for 2006" file. The good news is I only need to change a couple as many still apply and need to be accomplished. Here is the list:

Goals For 2006

Live within our budget.

Plan meals in advance. Healthy and within our budget.

Get rid of the clutter. Live simple.

Set direct payments to avoid being late.

Finish incomplete home repair projects. Finish organizing the garage.

Start having “dates” without the children

Catch up on photo albums.

Exercise program.

Start attending church as a family.

Keep up on the kids doing their choirs.

Organize the two downstairs rooms. Set up studio. Get rid of all extra furniture and stuff.

Organize all paperwork.

Make all legal preparations needed.

Get “cable”.

Big Goal:

Start small business

I didn't get much done on this list. I'm going to have to make a much better attempt at achieving the goals I set for 2007.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

More Funnies.

Nice Words About Christa.

I got this email from one of Christa's friends that she worked with at the University. I think everyone who knew Christa will find this story interesting.

I enjoyed working with Christa immensely at the Extension office. I
can only imagine the countless deep conversations you two must have
had based on the few that we had. There is one conversation in
particular that for whatever reason has always been a source of
comfort for me. After a friend of mine had passed away in a car
accident I was lamenting with Christa about my frustrations with bad
things happening to such good people. We touched on the subject of
religion. I explained that while I believed in a higher being, I was
not well versed in the area since I did not grow up going to
church. My mother could never find a church in our very small
community that met her expectations so we missed out on that
opportunity. Unfortunately, this makes it harder rather than easier
to find comfort with the powers that be when trying things happen.
Essentially, my faith is tried. I asked the age old question to her,
"If there is a God, why does he allow such bad things to happen to
such good people?" She told me of a religious studies course she'd
taken and they had similar discussions and one explanation that had
come up was that, "An all-loving God, does not interfere." For
whatever reason, it was the best explanation I'd ever heard even in
it's simplicity and vagueness.

During my senior year in college my 17 year old brother, Chris, was
killed in a car accident a few days after Christmas in 2003. At a
time when the popular explanation, "everything happens for a reason,"
just wouldn't suffice, Christa's offerings during that one
conversation stood as a great source of comfort. When I returned to
work I remember Christa asking me how I was because she said she knew
how I looked at things in times of tragedy such as this. I was able
to to discuss my grief comfortably with her a couple of times when I
couldn't with others.

I just wanted to share with you how Christa touched my life in a way
that will stay with me always. My own mother even enjoyed hearing
about that exchange that enlightened me in her own grief.

As I have always said Christa may not have been a religious person but she was definitely a spiritual person.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Spreading The Christmas Spirit.

My mother has been sending me some very "interesting" things to help bolster my Christmas Spirit. She is worried about me.

I've decided to share these little gems with everyone. If they are old news to some, I apologize. I thought they were pretty funny.

What ever you do, do not click on the following link. If you do, don't say I didn't warn you.
White Christmas

Peace and Holiday Cheer,
Marty

Picture Time.

My mom took these pictures while she was here over the Thanksgiving holiday. The first one is of Rowen relaxing in his superhero sanctuary. I'm going to buy one of those shoe holders that you hang on the back of the door to put all his superhero action figures in. It should look pretty cool.

This next picture is us putting up the new Christmas tree. It fits perfect without having to completely reorganizing the furniture. Christa woulld have really liked this tree.

And last but not least, let's meet the design team; Eilish, Elora, and Rowen. This season of Christmas decorating wasn't near as tramatic as past seasons have been.

I hope this Advent prepares you the peace that Christmas is.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow.

Is there a better way to start December than with fourteen inches of snow on the ground? I think not. I finally got the car dug out today, so in celebration we went and saw Deck the Halls at the movie theater. My suggestion is save your money and watch it on television next year. On the way home we stopped at WallyWorld to buy provisions. Seeing that we have been snow bound for two days, actually one and half but who is counting, we were starting to run low the staples like instant oatmeal.

Only two girls from Eilish's gymnastics team made it two St Louis. Their families drove over the night before. The other twelve girls, and their coaches, were snowed in in Columbia. I-70 was shut down most of yesterday. One of the families that made the meet, didn't get back until 6pm today.

Christa's parents are coming to Columbia for Christmas. They will be here from the 19th through the 26th. Christa's mom has been attending the Episcopal church in Carson City. I thought I might see if she wants to attend mid-night mass while she is her. That is if we can work out the logistics of childcare for it.

I hope everyone is well and survived the first assault of Old Man Winter. Anyone want to put money on how long it takes one of the "talking heads" to say that this proves there is no global warming?

I think I've picked up a head cold so I'm going to bed. Going to have to thank the kids for that tomorrow.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Bracing For The First Winter Storm.

The news of the day is wait until tomorrow. The weatherman is saying that we could see severe thunderstorms this afternoon with changing over to ice this evening. The forecast is for up to two inches of ice tonight changing over to snow in the morning with a total accumulation of three to six inches by tomorrow afternoon. You gotta love that.

I only hope that the snow is the nice fluffy stuff like the picture. It sounds as if Old Man Winter is going to throw a temper tantrum over the entire mid-west.

I'm going to have to start making arrangements in case the kids are out of school tomorrow. Hopefully I won't ruffle to many feathers. I'll try to post again later.

Warmth and Good Cheers,
Marty

P.S. I'm seeking input about the Memorial Fund for those who are interested.

Thanksgiving Is Over, Bring On Christmas.

For those who didn't know, my parents were in town over the Thanksgiving Holiday. They got here Tuesday evening and stayed until today.

While they were here they painted and decorated Rowen's bedroom. His room is now painted a light gray and he has two large framed superhero posters, Batman and Spiderman, hanging on the wall. We also hung a small rack on the wall and then hung his various "super suits" on it. No longer will we hear "where's my super suit?" It is the perfect room for the superhero in training.

My mom also helped me reorganize the kitchen. She painted some of the shelves and helped me go through cabinets to decide what should stay and what should go. It looks a lot better and is much better organized.

On Friday evening we put up our Christmas Tree. Christa and I had purchased a new tree last year so it was a little bitter-sweet putting it up without her. The kids had a good time decorating the tree and putting some of the other decorations out.

Thanks mom and dad for all your help this past week. Your probably going to need a vacation to recover from your holiday visit.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Thinking on Thanksgiving Eve.

So I'm setting here, on the eve of Thanksgiving, trying to decide what I'm thankful for. After all this has been such a "wonderful" year so far. I think there are a few things I can say that I'm thankful for but probably not what you would expect.

I'm thankful that, because of circumstances, I had to drop to a Supervisor position at work. Why am I thankful for that. Simple. I get to enjoy my time with the children. I get to have movie night with them. I get to see their expressions when they "get" the math problem they have been working on. I get to see their most resent masterpiece before anyone else. Yes, we are still working on some of patience issues, actually my patience issues, but we are doing well.

I'm also thankful for my muse showing me that it may be time for a career change. Don't panic, I'm not going to leave my job without having some sort of safety net. I am, however, going to move forward with The Arts Care. I have told a few people of my idea and have received some very positive feed back. Over the next couple of months I'm going to be filling out the paperwork to get this project started. I feel that this is a project that I will enjoy and that Christa would approve of.

I'm thankful that I can fill tears want to fall when I think about Christa. They remind me that my better half is no longer in pain and is at peace. And, on occasion, she stops to check in on us and if necessary points me toward new directions.

Now it is your turn. What are you thankful for? Before you post a comment take a minute and really examine what has occurred in your life this year. What has made the most positive impact on you?

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Progress Report for Eilish and Elora.

So yesterday I had my parent/teacher meetings with both Eilish's and Elora's teachers. Both teachers said that the girls were doing very well in school. Especially given the circumstances.

Eilish's teacher said that she was doing well in all her subjects and that she was one of the few students in the class who can do the work without "hand holding". She can tell her,"the answer you have is incorrect". "Can you go back to your seat and think about it and try again?" She will and usually come up with the correct answer. She said that Eilish really had not said much about Christa.

Elora's teacher said that she was right on track with where she needed to be. She did mention that Elora's homework had been spotty and I told her we would be making a better effort of getting it done on time. She also mentioned that Elora could be a "chatterbox" but for the most part was a pleasant and helpful student. Her teacher said that Elora has talked about Christa on occasion and has written stories and drawn pictures about her.

One more thing that Eilish's teacher mentioned to me was that another one of her student's parents had terminal cancer. That was rather shocking. Her teacher has not told the class. I wonder how this will effect Eilish if at all.

Well, I'm calling it a night as I have to work tomorrow.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Good News About I.B.C.

I read an article this evening that that said that M.D.Anderson Cancer Center, in Houston Texas, has opened the world's first Inflammatory Breast Cancer Clinic. It will be devoted solely to the study of I.B.C. They will be looking at ways of improving both diagnosis and treatment. Here is the link for anyone interested.

Finally, there is hope in the battle against Inflammatory Breast Cancer

It's a good story. Sad, but good.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Miles And Miles To Go Before I Get There or No Rest For The Wicked.

Every feel like your spring is wound a little to tight? Let me tell you about my day. It started with the usual morning routine. Get up. Take a shower. Get dressed. Wake the girls up. Get them moving with as few threats about canceling Christmas as possible. Wake Rowen. Have Eilish get Rowen dressed. Make some kind of breakfast and make Rowen's lunch. Herd the trio, and usually one cat, out the door.

Now we are just getting started. Drive into town and depending on how the traffic is flowing drop either Rowen or the Girls off first and then head to the second location. Drop the second package off and head to work. Relax.

I then got off work at 5 pm. Picked up Rowen, and headed over to Lee School to pick up Elora. I got Elora and made way across town to take her to gymnastics slowing down just enough to grab some food at Ronald's place. I dropped off Elora and picked up Eilish. We headed back across town to Lee where Eilish participated in a presentation before the PTA meeting. We got done at the school at 7:25, headed back across town to the gym to pick up Elora by 8 pm. Then we all came home.

Any Questions? How was your day?

Peace and Good Cheer,
Marty

Elora's 7

Elora's Birthday was today. I think we mad a pretty good day of it. We went to breakfast at Panera after having slept in until 8:30 or so. She has been wanting some with high heels. So we went to Kohls and found some, about one inch high and more appropriate for winter. We then went and saw the movie Flushed Away and after that we bought her a pumpkin birthday cake at Wally World.

I have to get them up in the morning so that they can get ready for school pictures. This ought to be fairly traumatic. Poor Rowen didn't fall asleep until around 10:30 so he will probably be a bear waking up. O joy O joy.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

P.S. I posted an idea for The Memorial Fund on the fund page.

Two Days Until Elora's Birthday.

Doesn't Elora take a great picture? Her friend's name is Kira. Her dad sent these to me the other day after they took the girls to Bonkers where proceded to go bonkers. She has had a couple of play dates with her.

Elora finally got around to cleaning her room. I'm not going to say that I held her birthday presents hostage or anything like that, but when a box arrived with her name on it, she decided that it might be time to do a little house work.

We went out afterwards and I let her pick out an outfit at Target for her birthday. I'll try to get her to model them so I can get some pictures to post.

I just went in to check on the gang and they are all passed out in the girls room. They were watching Cars for the third time in as many days. Now I have to extricate Rowen from the top bunk and tuck him into his bed on the couch. The couch is the only place that he will sleep through the night and who am I to say no to not getting kicked in the stomach, or worse, after he climbs into my bed at 3 a.m.

Speaking of passing out, I think I'm headed that way. We have to get up in the morning and take Eilish to gymnastics. Blog you later.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Half A Retraction.

Well I only need to publish half a retraction. The people of Missouri did pass the stem cell issue. Yeah. However, they did not pass the higher tax on cigarette which would have been partially applied toward non-smoking campaigns. The rest would have gone toward other medical expenditures in the state.

Now let me see if I can sum this up correctly. The people of Missouri are against supporting an issue to help prevent smoking and all the bad stuff that goes with it, i.e. cancer. But, if you do get cancer from smoking, at least you will be able to use any stem cell therepy, developed in the future, allowed by the federal government, to treat that cancer that could have been avoidable if you were not a smoker.

OK.... I get it.... Not.

Good Coffee and Good Cheer,
Marty

I Hope To Retract This In The Morning.

I have to say that the people of Missouri don't seem to think things through. It looks as if the people of Missouri have voted not to amend the constitution to insure that all federally allowed stem cell research and treatments will not automatically be allowed in Missouri. It also looks as if the tax increase on cigarettes has failed even though it only effects people who smoke.

If there is any doubt on how I voted on these two issues let me tell you. I voted yes on both. First, why would the people of Missouri want any less choices in treatment, for some of the worse diseases, than what is available under Federal Law? Second, what is wrong with asking smokers to pick up a larger percentage of the state medical cost when they choose to partake in an activity that is dangerous to their health?

I am not trying to offend anyone and I know the controversy over the stem cells but live my life over the last two years and then see how you vote.

In Sports and Health News.

Well the first gymnastics meet is over. ShowMe Gymnastics did very well taking first place in team competition for levels 6-9. The level 5 team took 5th. I am sure that Kathy and Wendy will be using the insight gained from this meet to help all the girls achieve their goals.

Eilish and I spent most of the weekend at the meet. She was either competing or cheering the other girls on. They were definitely the loudest group in the house.

When Eilish and I arrived at Saint Shelly's (bestowed sainthood for services above and beyond the call of duty) we found Elora, Rowen, and Amber burying each other in fallen leaves. Then they started throwing bushels of leaves at each other. It was pretty funny.

So far no one else has been infected with the plague that Rowen brought home. We may get lucky, knock on particle board, and dodge a bullet this time. Yes, I know that because I said that someone will wake up puking. I better have another beer. Just kidding.

I hope everyone is doing well. Blog with you soon.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Rowen's Birthday Gift.

I got my first birthday gift at 3:30 am. Rowen came into my room and announced that he had thrown-up. Oh joy. He was then up at 5:00 and 7:00 doing the same thing. Luckily his stomach was pretty empty.

We spent the rest of the early morning trying to minimize Rowens contact with the girls. If they did have to get close then they were told to at least use the bottle of Purell. Hopefully they won’t get sick. Eilish’s first meet of the season is Sunday and she will be bent out of shape if she has to miss it.

Rowen and I took the girls to school and now we are just hanging out. I called over to Rowen’s school to let them know that he would not be there today. The secretary said that half the class and the teacher were sick. Every ten minutes he asks if he can have a drink or something to eat and I tell him no trying to buy ten more minutes of him not throwing-up. Actually he has gone about two hours now without getting sick so maybe we’ve turned the corner and the plague will curse us no more. Until next week.

Rowen just fell asleep so I think I will try to take a short nap to. After all he wasn’t the only one who was up every other hour of the morning. I’ll blog more later.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Early Birthday Wishes.

I want to thank everyone for the early birthday wishes. It is nice to know that others are thinking about you.

My mother sent me one of those coffee makers (left) that uses the pre-measured pouches. I tried it out this morning and it worked like a charm. All you have to do is put the pouch in, push the button, and two minutes later you have hot coffee. How much easier could it be?

Hey, if anyone can tell me how to bake this cake in under two minutes, then we'll really have something.

Christa’s mom called last night to wish me Happy Birthday. She sent me some money and made me promise to spend it on myself. It was nice to talk to Gary and Sue. It had been several days since we had spoken.

I'm beginning to get sleepy so I think I will call it a night. Talk to you soon.

Peace and Good Cheer,
Marty

Please Read and Act! Mastectomy Hospital Bill in Congress

I was going to post this on the Memorial Fund blogsite, after having thought about, I decided it needed to be here. The following was an email I received:


Please take the time to do this. This is not a rumor - it is true!

Mastectomy Hospital Bill in Congress

If you know anyone who has had a mastectomy, you may know that there is a lot of discomfort and pain afterwards. Insurance companies are trying to make mastectomies an outpatient procedure. Let's give women the chance to recover properly in the hospital for 2 days after surgery.

Mastectomy Bill in Congress

It takes 2 seconds to do this and is very important...please take the time and do it really quick!

Breast Cancer Hospitalization Bill - Important legislation for all women.

Please send this to everyone in your address book. If there was ever a time when our voices and choices should be heard, this is one of those times. If you're receiving this, i t's because I think you will take the 30 seconds to go to vote on this issue and send it on to others you know who will do the same.

There's a bill called the Breast Cancer Patient Protection Act which will require insurance companies to cover a minimum 48-hour hospital stay for patients undergoing a mastectomy. It's about eliminating the "drive-through mastectomy" where women are forced to go home just a few hours after surgery, against the wishes of their doctor, still groggy from anesthesia and sometimes with drainage tubes still attached.

Lifetime Television has put this bill on their web page with a petition drive to show your support. Last year over half the House signed on.

PLEASE!! Sign the petition by clicking on the web site below. You need not give more than your name and zip code number.

http://www.lifetimetv.com/health/brea! st_mastectomy_pledge.html

This takes about 2 seconds. PLEASE PASS THIS ON to your friends and family, and on behalf of all women

Coffee truly is the nectar of the gods, or at least the Flash.

For those who haven’t heard, I’m now an hourly employee again. Today I don’t have to be into work until 10 am. So, what better thing to do than go to Coffee Zone, set down, and enjoy a cup of coffee. Coffee Zone also has free wireless internet (WiFi) which means I can use this time to surf the web or post on my blog. I could get into this lifestyle

Last night we went trick-or-treating downtown in The District. Eilish, Elora, and Rowen transformed into their alter-egos with an extra layer of clothes under their costumes to ward off the cold. We then set off, going store to store, filling their candy bags. We actually ran into Dr. Vandover, the principal at Lee, at the new tea house. She told the kids how nice they looked. The cold started nipping at the kids noses and ears so we called it a successful night after about an hour. Eilish counted her haul at about 100 pieces. I wonder how many I can throw away at a time without her noticing?

Well, the coffee is gone and I have a few things to do before I head into work. I will post again soon.

Good Day and Good Cheer,
Marty

Help Wanted....

So the first thing I need to know is if anyone has a dog with a really bad drooling problem as I have twenty envelopes that need to be licked and mailed out. I know that this may be asking a lot, but if that same dog could run to the post office and buy me two sheets of stamps that would be just fantastic.

I was going through one of our photo albums and found these two pictures of Christa’s grandfather, Bill Dolan. I think they are from 2001. I thought everyone might want to see them. If anyone needs a better look let me know and I will email you a higher resolution copy.

I haven’t heard from several people lately. I hope I haven’t offended anyone. I don't know how I could have as I have yet to suggest that the current medical/insurance system needs to be blown up. Let me know how things are going. After all, it is nice to get to talk to an adult on occasion.

Peace and Good Cheer,
Marty

New Blog and Other News.

I spent the weekend developing a new blog. It will be the new home for The Christa Ballew-Matthews Memorial Fund For The Arts. All the news relating to the Memorial Fund such as updates and new totals will be posted there. It is a work in progress so please feel free to tell me what you think of the site this far and what you think the site needs.

In other news, we are going to have a busy week ahead as Eilish has her first gymnastics meet of the season on November 5th. We have to be there at 9 am. We also have to figure out how to fit Halloween into her practice schedule. I think that she will do a short day on Tuesday, the 31st, and then we will go trick-or-treating in the District downtown. I’ve decided that I didn’t want to deal with the little hobgoblins in the neighborhood.

I hope everyone notices that I’m getting this posted well before 11 pm. This may be some kind of record for me. Hopefully I won’t have to go back and do as much editing in the morning to clean up what I posted the night before.

I hope everyone has a good week and Happy Halloween.

Good Scares and Good Cheers.
Marty

Shutter Bug

The pictures that I have been posting lately, of Christa, were taken about eighteen years ago just after I met her. The pictures of her in a red sweater, some of which are already posted, are very special to me because that is the very sweater she was wearing when we met the first time. I took most of these photos because at the time she was an aspiring modal and wanted me to help her build a portfolio. I haven’t looked at most of these pictures in at least ten years, now I can’t see them enough.

She actually enjoyed both sides of the camera. If memory serves me well, I think she was a school photographer at B.H.S. She studied photography at the University of Nevada Reno and took hundreds of photos of the children which I need to download from her camera.

She told me once that she fell in love with me on our first date. I don’t know if it was love at first sight, but I feel I can make a very strong case for love at second sight. And really, a love that is still going after eighteen year, whether first or second sight, is still better than many can attest to.

Good Love, Good Memories, and Good Cheers,
Marty

First, Second, Third, and Last.

First. My cousin, Elizabeth, has been getting some wonderful emails in response to the article that she about Christa. She has posted some of them on her blog, Elizabeth-the writer. If you have time please read them as they have been very positive and show how Christa continues to touch other peoples lives.

Second. I have decided to take the week of Christmas, Dec. 23rd thru Dec. 31st, off. I don’t think that I need to be rolling burritos during the week that has Christmas, Christa’s birthday, and our anniversary. I’m going to try to find a more inspiring way to celebrate and commemorate all that this week means to me. I hope my thinking cap still fits, if not I’m in trouble.

Third. I just stopped to think about what I want to write next and fell asleep at the keyboard. It’s ok, no one got hurt. I guess I need to hit the hay before my forehead has keyboard impressions on it.

Last. I gotta give a shout out to the ladies at Show-Me Gymnastics. You could not ask for better friends. Thank you for all that you have done for myself and my family.

Peace and Good Cheers.
Marty

I Highly Recommend This Book.

I don't know if everyone heard the story about this book, so here it goes. The day that Christa passed away, We went over to pick up the girls at school. The school councilor helped us tell the girls the news and then she read them this book, The Next Place by Warren Hanson. After reading the story to them, she then gave them the book and showed them that literally every teacher at the school had written them a little note of support and had signed it.

This is a wonderful book which can help make the death of a loved one a little less scary. It is also beautifully illustrated.

We quoted part of this book on the Memorial Service pamphlet. I have also bought several copies to give as gifts. One of the books I purchased will be going back to the school so that they have a copy on hand when they have another child facing a similar situation, hopefully years from now.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Nothing to Say in Under 500 Words.

Friday I felt like I had so many things to say. Now I seem to be at a loss of words. Hopefully it is a temporary condition. Christa would have told you that this is not a condition that I tend to suffer from. We would often get into long debates over every topic imaginable. It never failed that our longest discussions were held in the middle of the night when we would both have to be up early in the morning. This is probably why it is easier for me to put fingers to keyboard after 10:30 pm. It's that and the fact that the kids are sound asleep.


Eilish and I took Rowen over to get his hair cut today. Rowen was hilarious. He found the electric clippers ticklish and had a very hard time sitting still. After all is said and done he is now clean cut kid.

Elora went over to her friend Kira's house a little after 2 pm and didn't get home till after 7 pm. She was out by 8 pm. They must have played hard. I did get some work out of yesterday. She cleaned and organized the bathroom and helped pick up her room. The power of blackmail.

Well I’m getting tired and Bart is getting ready to divorce his parents on the Simpsons. Here is to low brow humor.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

In The News and Other Tidbits.

The article that my cousin Elizabeth wrote for the Tulsa World's Satalite section was published today. It is titled Breast cancer a distant concern for most - until it takes the life of someone you love. I think she did a really nice job. Last I heard, Elizabeth wanted to attend the journalism school at MU. I hope everyone will take a moment to read it.

I think when I get Christa's other sculptures finished, I'm going to see if I can give her the exhibit she deserves. Maybe I could organize it as a fund raiser for the Memorial Fund.

By the way the total for the Memorial Fund now stands at $1145. I think we are doing pretty good. I don't really know what to expect from something like this.

She does have a beautiful smile.

Peace and Good Cheers.
Marty

Nice Words From the Professor.

I received the following email from Christa's sculpture professor today:

Hello Marty,

I am so very sorry to hear of Christa's passing. She was such a
wonderful, talented person, I feel honored to have had the chance to
work with her. She exhibited a sense of grace and good cheer that
endeared her to absolutely everyone in the sculpture program. Please
accept my sincerest sympathies for your loss. I will, of course, be more
than happy to see that her work is finished according to your wishes.
Let me know when your schedule would permit a meeting and we can discuss
the details.

In sympathy,

Jim Calvin

Pretty cool don't you think. I will post more later.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Coffee for the Brain.

Well I'm setting at Coffee Zone drinking my morning cup of joe, trying to compose a mental list of the things I need to get done today. I keep getting distracted by The Best of Frank Sinatra that is playing in the background. I still find it surprising how many of his songs I know. You can never tell what kind of music is going to be playing in this place. It could be anything from Frank to Andre to Middle Eastern Chant. Osama,the gentleman who owns this place, is from Jordan. He is also a cancer survivor. You never know who that “one in four” person is going to be.

Second cup of coffee and the fog is starting to lift. I’m beginning to believe that my next career may be in the non-profit field. I have told a few people of my idea to form an organization that gives cancer patients a chance to have a night out, enjoying the arts, and forgetting about their disease. I think that this would involve me in two areas that I enjoy and can make a difference in. No need to panic yet, I’m just brainstorming. I don’t want a job anymore that just pays the bills anymore. I want a career that allows me to “pay it forward”.

I think that the story that my cousin, Elizabeth, is writing about Christa is going to run this Friday. I will post a link to the story as soon as I have one. It is going to run in the Tulsa World’s Satellite section as part of their coverage for Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

I’m going to post this now, finish my coffee, and get going on my list of things that need to be done. I'll write more soon.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Christa Memorial Project.

I've decided to take the wraps off one of the proposed projects for the Christa Ballew-Matthews Memorial Fund for the Arts.

The building to the left is Lee Expressive Arts School. Both Eilish and Elora attend school here. They just celebrated their centennial a couple of years back.

The students at Lee have designed and made tile murals to be installed in the white areas that you see above the five large windows shown. The next photo shows a similar project that was done by Lee students and installed at the Columbia Public Library. There is also a PDF file that gives a detail look of the installation at the library.

From what I have heard there are several reasons that the school board has not allowed the project at the school to be completed, the largest of which is lack of funds for the installation. I hope that by showing that the funds are now available, the other reasons will fall by the wayside.

Christa and I often talked about how this project needed to be completed. It seems a more than fitting memorial for an artist like Christa.

With Fingers Crossed and Good Cheer,
Marty

Saying Goodbye Again.

I want to say to Christa's family how truly sorry I am about the passing of Christa's grandfather, Bill Dolan. The last two months have been really hard on them and I hope that my family and friends will take a moment and say a prayer for them as they struggle with this second loss.

Please follow these links to read a very interesting story about Bill Dolan that the Nevada Appeal published about him on October 13.

Services will be October 17th at the Episcopal Church in Carson City, Nevada.

Good Memories and Good Cheers,
Marty

Inflammatory Breast Cancer Links.

My wife was diagnosed with Inflammatory Breast Cancer in January of 2005. She passed away on September 18 2006. I'm writing this not to dishearten anyone newly diagnosed with this form of breast cancer, but to let you know that I have been where you are and to hopefully save you time researching this disease.

The number is anywhere from one to four percent of all breast cancer patients are facing this diagnosis. Don't waste time looking for a prognosis. Find the best doctor you can who has had experience battling this condition. The following links are a few of the sites that I found beneficial:

Siteman Cancer Center
Inflammatory Breast Cancer Research Foundation
American Cancer Society
National Cancer Institute
The Mayo Clinic
I. B. C Support

I hope you find these sites helpful. The thing I would tell you is be as aggressive in your choices of treatment as this disease is. I wish you the best and if I can answer any questions please let me know.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Drum Roll Please and a Thank You.

We have a new total for the Christa Ballew-Matthews Memorial Fund for the Arts. The previous total was $660. The new total is (this is wher the drum roll should be) $945. We are headed in the right direction.

My cousin, Elizabeth, is a Satellite correspondent for the Tulsa World. Satellite is a teen section of the newspaper. She is writing a story about Christa which will run with a picture of Christa and a picture of a charcoal, left, that she did a couple of years ago. I will post a link to the story when it runs.

I finally got around to taking a thank you card over to the girls school. It took me literally hours to write it because I wanted to make sure that is said exactly what I felt. The following is the text of that letter:

Principal Vandover, Shelly Hamilton, and every teacher at Lee Elementary,

The words “Thank You” hardly seem adequate for what you have done for my family and myself. Christa believed that the arts were just as important as reading, writing, and arithmetic. Without an understanding of art, the core subjects are nothing more than zeros and ones in a computer. It was Christa’s choice to send our children to Lee Elementary. Thank you for confirming, over and over, that she made the right choice.

May God bless you as much as He has blessed us with you.

Thank You,
Eilish, Elora, Rowen, and Marty Matthews

I'm posting it here because I want everyone to know that, as far as I am concerned, these people walk on water. They go above and beyond what is required. I can only hope that one day I can "pay-it-forward" in as selfless a fashion.

Peace and Good Cheers.
Marty

More Pictures from the Kiddie Park.

My mom sent me these pictures today. They were taken at the Kiddie Park in August just before the girls had to go back to school. Sorry the person setting to her left in the first picture couldn't turn his frown upside down.

Spiderman in the second picture got a pair of spiderman flannel pajamas a couple of days ago. They are the type that button up the front. He thinks they are pretty cool. He has to be peeled out of them every morning.

I've decided to email Christa's sculpter professor at MU to see if he would be willing to finish a couple of Christa's bronzes if I pay for the materials. I would really like to get at least the horse sculpter done so that the children have at least one sculpture each of thier moms.

Sorry this post is all over the map. It's just a bunch of random thoughts I've been thinking about today. I hope everyone is well.

Peace and Good Cheer,
Marty

Christa Smiling.

My sister found these pictures of Christa in her computer. The first one looks like it was taken sometime in the spring/summer of 2005 at the Kiddie Park. The second one must have been taken at my parents house, over Christmas of 2005. As Jennifer said, in her email, it is nice to see her smile agian.

I hope everyone is doing well and I hope that everyone has found thier favorite picture of Christa to hold in thier hearts. I will be posting more of mine over time.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Give The Child Credit.

Good Morning. Just a quick note about something that happened last night. We were having "movie night" and I kept hearing this clunking around of stuff in Rowens room. As usual, his attention span for the movie was not two hours long. So I called back to him and asked him what he was doing. He said moving my picture. I hadn't heard anything break yet so I put it out of my mind.

When I was putting him to bed I noticed that the 8x10 of Christa, that I had told him was his, was no longer where I had placed it. I had put it in my room so it wouldn't get broken. Rowen had cleared of a place in the middle of his play table, in his room, and moved the picture in there. The picture is probably in a safer position than when it was in my room. I may have been selling the little guy short on what he understands.

Good Memories and Good Cheers,
Marty

Freeze Frame.

I decided today that the kids should each have a picture of Christa to call thier own. So I let the girls each pick a picture of Christa that they liked, and then we went and had them blown up to 8x10 and framed. Eilish picked a photo of Christa that was taken in one of the parks in Bartlesville. Christa is standing on a red cargo net that is suspendend off the ground. The wind is blowing and she is trying to keep her balance.

Elora picked a black and white photo of Christa that I took the summer we started dating. Elora said she likes the leaves in background. I think that she also likes the that it is a more of a "close-up" than many of the pictures are. Elora told me today that she "misses making things" with mommy.

For Rowen, I chose a picture that was taken the same day as the one Eilish chose. In this picture Christa is sitting on the cargo net and smiling. It is one of the pictures that was in the foyer of the church at the memorial service. If he wants to choose a different one later he can. I just didn't want him to be left out.

I have also decided that I don't like the greeting, "how are you?' or "how are you doing?" anymore. The reason I don't like this greeting is that I don't know who is asking because they know about Christa or who is asking because they don't know about Christa. I'm tired of answering, "hanging in there" or "ok". I am tempted to say, "you know considering .............., I'm doing good. How about you?" Sometimes it really is hard to be polite. Let's all find a new greeting, or a least if you do ask, be prepared for a honest answer.

Peace and Good Cheer,
Marty

Think Pink, Give Green.

I was just reminded on the news that October is "Breast Cancer Awareness Month". The month when everyone rolls out all thier pink products with the promise that a "portion" of the proceeds will go to breast cancer research.

Christa didn't like this marketing technique. She believed that if you really wanted to give money to a cause, including breast cancer research, open your checkbook and write the next check to any of the agencies that are directly involved in research. Take the $250. dollars that you were going to spend on the lovely pink KitchenAid mixer and send it to The American Cancer Society or Washington University. That $250 will do a lot more good than the small precentage that KitchenAid may send and then you can buy the color that you really want.

I'm not trying to pick on KitchenAid. They just happen to be the company I remember most vividly from last year. Seems like everyone wants in on the pink.

If your going to give, give however your most comfortible. Remember, it could be one of you dollars that may save you wife, daughter, or your son.

Peace and Good Cheer,
Marty
Tha

I'll Get By With a Little Help From My Friend.

I picked the kids at Shelly's house after work today and on the way home I decided that we would stop and get some food. We all decided where to go and told the kids we were going through the drive-thru because I was tired. Elora decided that she wanted to go in and started throwing a fit. As I drove by the menu board, not stoping to order, I told Elora that because of her attitude she had decided that we would just eat at home. She procided to melt down, kicking the back of Eilish's set and screaming at the top of her lungs.

I'm telling you this because this little drama was one of those times that I heard Christa whispering to me, "Ignore her," "Just go home," "She will remember this lesson next time."

We got home and I got out of the car, got Rowen out of his seat, and came inside leaving Elora in the car with two simple instuctions. She was not to leave our yard and she was not play with anyone.

Now the wierd part was that as we came in the front door, Eilish was letting my nieghbor in through the backdoor with a pot roast dinner. I had forgotten that she had come by yesterday and had said that she wanted to do that.

I went out and told Elora that someone had brought food and that if she was going to eat anything else this evening she had better come eat now and that I would not ask again. She came in and ate some. One point for me with the assist.

Listen and Good Cheers,
Marty

Her Voice.

I think the thing that really gets me the most is the silience. The not hearing her voice. The not hearing her breathing next to me in bed.

After Christa and her family moved to Nevada, she used to call me after she had been out partying just to say that she wanted to "hear my voice". It was always good to hear her voice. I don't know if, at the time, she ever factored in the fact that she was two hours behind and that 1:30 a.m. her time was 3:30 a.m. my time.

I hear her voice in my head now but it is hard to remember what that voice sounds like. It is more a whisper saying "be patient" or "get this done". Hopefully I can add her voice to mine and say all the things I need to say with the grace and insight that my other half carried with her.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

The Weekly Update.

I think I have a minor case of writers block. So I've decided to write an update as to what has been going on.

Rowen started his new daycare on Wednesday. He seems to really be enjoying it. He has yet to through any kind of fit when I drop him off in the morning. Today he gave me a kiss and hug and then practically pushed me out the door. And then whenwe went to pick him up, he has this look of near disappointment that we have interupted his play time. I have to say I "almost" miss the guilt tears that he used to lay on me.

Elora went to gymnastics this past Tuesday and seemed to have a good time. She's mentioned a couple times that she wants to go back so I think I will enroll her for next month. It can only help in burning off some of that excess energy that she has. She seems to be establishing a little free will of her own lately. I've notice that she will usually stay inside at Adventure Club to draw or play board games. Eilish on the other hand will head outside to play on the playground.

Over the next couple of weeks we will find out how much Eilish "really" likes gymnastics. This Saturday She is attending a clinic in St. Louis. Next week she will be in the gym four days and the week after that she will be there five days. They will be focusing on thier new beam and floor routines. Yes, it is the "if I hear that floor music one more time I think I'm going to start having self-inflicted male non-pattern baldness." That is me pulling my own hair out if no one gets the previous sentence. It sounded funny at the time.

Well that is all for know. I gotta have Eilish up and ready to go By 7:45.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Our First Day.

Today was our first day, in probably a month, that there wasn't someone here holding our hands, supporting us. It was a little unsettling. Don't get me wrong the day went fine. It's just that I actually had to stand up and start getting things done for myself.

I took the kids to school and daycare, then started on the list of things that I needed to get done. First, I dropped off a large jar of candy to the nurses and crew of 5N at Regional Hospital. I wanted to say thanks for all thier support and care for Christa and us. Second, I went to Barnes and Noble and bought The Next Place for Reverend Amy. When I dropped it off she was just getting ready to buy the book from Amazon. Third, I brought Christa's ashes home where they will stay for now. Forth, I enrolled Rowen in his new daycare at Stephens College.

The daycare at Stephens looks like a nice program. So far, I have only found two draw-backs. The first being that the program runs the same schedule as the college. Therefore when school is out, so is daycare. It will be interesting at Thanksgiving and Christmas. The second thing is that I will now have to fix Rowen's lunch everyday. They provide snacks, but no lunch. Could be interesting.

Time to start my list for tomorrow.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

The Memorial Service

Christa's memorial service was September the 22nd at Calvery Episcopal Church. It was really nice to see that many people show up to celebrate Christa's life. She would have been pleased. Christa's mom and my sister made three poster boards with pictures from different stages of Christa's life. They were displayed in the foyer of the church along with the flowers that people had sent. Reverend Amy lead the congregation in a service that was posititve, focusing on the life of Christa. I can only say that Reverand Amy seems to be one of those people that a person is distant to meet to guide you through tough times. I was worried that Christa's parents might feel uncomfortable with a "formal" service, but all Sue could say was how wonderful Amy is and how she really enjoyed the service.

After the service everyone was invited to the house for a reception. There was at least fifty people here. Luckly the storms that were supposed to blow in never formed. It topped out at about 80 degrees so we left the doors opened and welcomed all. If all the people that showed up for either the service of the reception are any indication, Christa should be proud of the mark she left on this community.

Now if we can only pull off the memorial that I have planned, I think we will have said our thanks and goodbyes to Christa in a way that would have left her speechless.

Thanks and Good Cheers,
Marty

The End and The Beginning.

On monday, September 18th, Christa passed away. It was about 11:30 in the morning on a day with the first hint of fall in the air. Christa's breathing simply shallowed with each breath, it stopped, and her heart just faded away. She seemed to be in no pain or discomfort. I'm relieved that I was the only one there when she passed. I could give you all the details but they seem of little importance now.

I feel it is important to say that my wife fought her decease with every once of strength she had. She was sure that there were so many things left for her to do. Those task now fall to me and I will do my best not to fail her.

We went today to plan Christa's memorial service. Her body will be cremated and the ashes placed in a walnut box with her name ingraved on it. Someday, in the future, I hope to find a place to return her to the earth. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.

I'm finding this to be a very surreal experiance. The thought of never seeing her again is beyond belief. Even after she had passed away, and her body was still laying in the bed, I would occasionaly catch her out of the corner of my eye and I could swear she was still breathing. It was so unreal not to see her chest rising and falling with each breath.

So please say a little prayer for Christa and us as we begin our new journeys and remember our old ones. And if your so inclined, join with me and lite a candle for Christa on her birthday December 26th.

Peace and Good Cheers,
Marty

Finally an Update

My wife has been using the laptop at the hospital to post on her blog so I haven't been able to get online. She is settling in at Boone Hospital. She says she feels like a prisoner. Not that they are mean to her, she just gets tired of looking at the same four walls. I think I will take our cat, Sedi, to visit her on Tuesday and see if that will cheer her up.

She has been suffering from nausea the last couple of day. They have had to step up the level of medication for the nausea and that seems to be making her drowsy. Hopefully her body can adjust to the medication. She has two more radiation treatments to finish this week. These treatments do seem to be helping with the headaches.

She did get to visit with the kids today. I heard they were well behaved. They uaually are when they are with Grandma. I visited after work for a couple of hours. She seemed to be in a little better spirits.

Getting tired and heading to bed.

Peace,
Marty

Three Good Days.

The last three days have been pretty good ones for Christa. She has been able to do a little walking and enjoy reading the paper. Tomorrow we will hopefully know whether she will be going to Boone Hospital or coming home. I also have a list of questions for the Doctor. The main thing is can we find some to take her out of the hospital so that she can get some fresh air and feel the sunshine.

Christa's sister and brother-in-law left early this morning. Her brother is leaving around noon tomorrow. She will miss them.

My house doesn't look like my house anymore. That is a good thing. I think my family has been practising for Trading Spaces. They have done a wonderful job.

Our cats seem to be going out of thier way to be friendly. They miss thier therapy sessions with Christa.

Peace,
Marty

Extreme Home Makeover.

Today Christa seemed to be doing well. She ate a big breakfast, got up and did a little walking, and read the Sunday paper. She seems to be in good spirits. I miss her at home.

Since all the bad news came about, both my wife's family and mine have come into town. Her parents have been watching the kids giving me time to be with Christa. My parents, and sister, have been doing their version of Extreme Home Makeover on our house.

My kin have cleaned, painted, yanked up carpet, put down flooring, and carpeted stairs. All of this without one word about the condition of my house. Thank you. I'm sure they are going to need a vacation just to recover from this visit.

Christa's family have been watching our kids as well as Christa's sisters kids. I would say that may be as tough a job as the one the "makeover" crew has taken on. The kids have spent the last three nights at Grandma Sue's hotel room. They've been swimming, watching movies, and braving Chuckie Cheese.

Thanks to all for being here.

Peace,
Marty

Where To Start?

I'm 41, married, with three kids. My wife and I have been married for fifteen years. Our children are 3, 6, and 9.

In January of 2005 my wife was diagnosed with Inflammatory Breast Cancer. This cancer is very aggressive, and rare, occurring in less than five percent of the women who get breast cancer. Her cancer has spread to her bones, lungs, and brain. Two weeks ago we found out that this cancer had spread to her central nervous system and that she has "days to weeks" to live. The doctors have nothing left to offer except to manage her pain to make what time she does have left as comfortable as possible.

That is the kind of news that can bring ones life to a screeching halt. Two weeks ago we were making the best of a bad situation. Now we are literally taking each day, one at a time, trying to decide what is the best path toward our impending doom.

I have to say that I really expected to be the one to go first. Not this soon, sometime way down the line. But it seems that that is not the plan.

Peace,
Marty